Parenting is one of the most challenging jobs, yet it is the only one that does not come with any experience or training. So, being successful in this profession requires a basket full of effort. Raising a well-behaved child in 21-st Century requires consistent patience and commitment. I know it’s an indescribable feeling in the world to hold, touch, and see your child for the first time. But the real challenge follows to raise a child, which can only be accomplished through parental guidance. I promise that this blog will provide you with a practical guide to resolving your child’s behavioral issues. Also, if you want to read more parenting blogs, visit PiggyRide to receive answers to your parenting concerns.
So, no doubt, We love our kids unconditionally, and sometimes that love manifests itself in pampering them to the point where we overlook their misconduct. Do you agree with me? Consider how many times you’ve excused your children’s despicable behavior under the guise of thinking they’re still immature and young. However, it is acceptable to some extent for children to engage in inappropriate behavior. But it is not permissible for parents to promote and fuel this behavior by neglecting their errors or labeling them as childish or cute.
Though children are not puppets and cannot be made to dance according to their wants, parents can avoid sugar-coating their child’s tantrums, whining, rage, frustrations, and other behaviors.
Reasons Parents Overlook their Child’s Bad Conduct-
If a parent takes their child to the mall and the child has tantrums in front of other people to buy a costly gift for them. Parents succumb to their children’s wishes to avoid embarrassment in front of a large group of people.
2. Excessive-Parental Pampering
Parents give in to their children’s every demand under the garb of unconditional love, over-pampering, and overprotection. For example, a parent may think that; it’s their ‘only’ child, or they may have conceived after a long period. However, this may be detrimental to their child’s best interests.
3. Guilt & Being Supportive
Sometimes a parent will feel ‘guilty’ about their child’s misbehavior, which will lead to their supporting and defending their actions. Some parents have a history of being overly strict with their children. As a result, they feel guilty about being tough with the kids and try to compensate by encouraging their bad behavior.
4.Not Understanding the Difference between Needs & Wants
It occurs when parents and the entire family are focused on granting all of their children’s wishes and demands. Have you ever witnessed your children dismantling their toys a week after receiving them? Some children do not even wait for a week. Kids are unaware of the value of things they get. As a result, parents become obsessed with their children’s happiness at the expense of their behavior. There is a distinction between a child’s requirements and wants. You must meet your child’s “needs,” but you don’t necessarily have to satisfy their “wants.”
5. Overwork & Less Energy Leads to Ignorance
Working on monotonous chores or jobs can eventually exhaust you. Do you agree with me? There are instances when parents do not have the energy to deal with their child’s misbehavior. And we’re all aware of the penalties of failing to correct errors.
Top 7 Tips to Fix Behavioral Issues –
As promised above, it’s time to unlock the practical Guide to fix behavioral Issues in your kids with these Super-7 Tips.
1. Engage your kids in Extracurricular activities – Sports, art & craft classes, music, dance classes, and other activities are just a few examples. It enhances social skills, self-esteem, and conduct in children. When a child participates in such activities, it also helps to reduce academic stress, anxiety, and tantrums because it makes them feel productive. When people do what they enjoy, their mood elevates, and they remain happy. Children who participate in voluntary activities are less likely to be disruptive.
Assist your youngster in learning more positive ways to interact with others. Perseverance, sincerity, collaborative skills, truthfulness, respect, tolerance, discipline, acceptance of others, leadership qualities, and obedience are the principles instilled through different activities. PiggyRide is the one-stop solution for unlimited kids’ activities. They provide kids activities for their positive social development tailored to kids’ age, skill level, and interest. Enrolling your children in activities can help them improve their attitude, behavior and manage their time productively.You can also get access to one-on-one classes if you join hands with Piggyride.
2. Inform them of the consequences of their behavior – Children should constantly be aware of the implications of their actions. Have goals in mind for how to correct your children’s negative behavior. For example, if a child becomes enraged because he does not get chocolates regularly. Let the kid know how eating chocolates regularly will harm her dental health. Make them comprehend how cavities form by showing them visual representations of how cavities form through videos. They should understand that you’re not just making up a narrative to get her to stop eating chocolate; you’re saying No because it has ramifications. The purpose is to educate and inform your kid of the consequences.
3. Put a ‘Response Cost’ to Kids’ Misbehavior – Dr. Paul Jenkins came up with the idea for this experiment. It’s a fun experiment that will work for most of the kids. For example, If a child has a habit of hitting his siblings and you’re not able to control their behavior. Here’s what you can do to stop it. Take a zip-lock plastic bag and put her name on the bag with a permanent marker.
The child should know that it belongs to her. You can add any ten items your child loves. Be it chocolates, candies, cookies, etc. You have to tell your child that this bag belongs to them, but it has a cost. Tell them that this bag belongs to them but that if they hit a sibling or friend again, you will take one of their favorite items from the bag. Don’t nag them, only inform them that they are in charge of a candy bag but that they can only have it if they behave. But put a time limit on it. If they behave for two days, they will get the whole bag.
4. Be a Role Model for your Kids – A child’s behavior depends on your relationship with others. If you behave rudely with your house helpers, talk aggressively with your partner, lose temper, then what do you expect from your kids? You should have a calm, respectful relationship with others. Children are like monkeys, and they imitate everything you do, say, and how you respond to others.
As a result, make every effort to maintain harmony with the people around you. For example, If you go out to a restaurant for a meal. Thank those who are serving you by saying “thank you.” Say “I’m sorry” often to others if needed. You’ll be imitated by your children as well. Through your interaction with other individuals, instill kindness and social harmony in your children. That’s how children learn to behave.
5. Raise an Empathetic Child – Empathy is a vital life skill. Some children develop empathy naturally by the age of five, although parents may need to show them through real-life situations or stories. Story-telling is always beneficial because they are the cornerstone for fostering empathy in children. Kids can develop understanding and empathy for others by noticing or understanding others’ feelings and relating them to their own through daily life examples or stories.
Maintaining healthy relationships with your family, friends, and domestic assistance is essential. If a house helper is sick or unwell, You can express sympathetic statements such as, “I know it’s unpleasant; you can take a day off and rest.” You can sit with the grandparents and say, “I know your health isn’t doing so well, but we’re all here for you.” Teach your children to look after their grandparents. Express that you care about your parents by demonstrating that your feelings and gestures are meaningful to them. The simple and effective approach to teach kids empathy is through your relations with other individuals.
6. Substitute rewards with positive feedback – Some parents enjoy rewarding their children when they behave well. Are you able to connect to this, or have you seen others do it? For instance, when a parent is taking her child to a relative’s house and asks her child to behave in exchange for chocolate or toys? We need to understand that good behavior is not a commodity; it should be a personality.
However, in some circumstances where immediate action is required, an incentive system should be implemented to dissuade kids from doing inappropriate things. If you continue to reward children for good behavior, they will assume that they can only behave nicely in exchange for something. It may encourage them to throw more tantrums since they know they will be bribed with something if they misbehave. So, substitute rewards with positive feedback.
Examples of Positive Feedback –
- I am proud of you.
- You’re my intelligent kid.
- You’re sensible.
7. Don’t Explode & Redirect – Sometimes, kids can make their parents explode and get quite enraged. Parents become agitated, yell at their children, and do not manage the situation gently. However, instead of getting angry or yelling “No,” attempt to divert the matter whenever a youngster does something wrong. Children love to seek out attention. Sometimes it’s better to “let go,” while other times, it’s better to redirect. Instead of simply stating “No” to your child’s misbehavior, manipulate the circumstance to soothe your children.
For example, I’ve seen youngsters throw tantrums or cry when they lose a game they’re playing with their friends or relatives. They are unable to accept their defeat and begin to complain. So, what are our options here? Instead of yelling at them, we can refocus by saying things like “it’s okay to lose” or “you’ll have lots of chances.” Play games with them and pretend as if you lost in the game. Then show them your emotions that you’re completely fine with it, and tell them it’s okay, it’s not a big thing, and it’s all part of the game to win or lose.
You can use redirection in many cases and avoid exploding out to your kids. Rage is never the solution, and it’s certainly not the best method to teach your children. If you can’t regulate your emotions, your kids will never learn to express or control themselves.
Take-Away – Parenting necessitates a constant stream of new ideas, methods, sacrifices, and attempts. Your children require special care and warmth. Don’t become annoyed or stressed because of your child’s actions. Also, remember that anger or outbursts are never the solutions to your child’s misbehavior while they are themselves angry, whining, or frustrated. If both sides are in rage, it will lead to more clashes and no rapid resolution. Give kids your time, sit with them, talk to them, and ask them why they behave the way they do in certain situations and how they feel. Assist them in feeling heard and loved.
Although, if your children are experiencing any of the aforementioned negative emotions, allow them to be free, give them space, and let their emotions breathe. Let them explore themselves, and you can also enroll them in skill-based free workshops. Aside from that, some behavioral difficulties require immediate attention, but I believe it is now doable.
About Author – I am Nidhi Arora, and I am a content writer at PiggyRide. I graduated from Delhi University with a bachelor’s degree in literature and am currently pursuing a master’s degree in the same discipline. I am an avid reader, and I’ve also recently launched my website, spiritbulb.com.
Loved this article. I also follow Dr. Paul Jenkins approach when needed. And most of times it works. With kids, there behavior becomes unpredictable at several occasions. We need to find the reason behind any such unusual behavior.
Let me check piggyride. With winter approaching, it started to get dark early. I mi t need something to keep my younger one busy.
This is such an important topic that often remain ignore during busy lifestyle. many times kids behave improperly and parents did not get proper idea how to deal with it. for me, first point works best. keeping kids busy is best way to bring a discipline in their behavior and it also helps in reducing academic stress too.
It’s important to teach kids about right and wrong. Good to encourage them when they do good and let them know their mistakes on bad behavior.
Must of the time the rain of promoting bad behavior by parents is unintentional and due to guilt. I take liked all the pointers mentioned by you but the best is response cost, I don’t know your call it by this name but I have done that and it works.
Monitoring our kids behavior and making sure we are not promoting bad habits is absolutely necessary. As parents, it is our duty to lead from the front.
I think, most, if not all parents are guilty of spoiling their kids at some stage or the other. It is so necessary to ensure that as parents we send across the right message. Kids need to learn to value what they have and not take things for granted.
It is very important as a parents to encourage the kids when they are doing good.. And kids need to learn the value of everything, if they are doing anything wrong we should point out them.
We often ignore that a single behavior from our side will mark a deep impact on a child’s psyche. Ignoring the bad behavior of the child is the worst a parent can do. We have to explain, stop, and correct them.
There are lot of things that can trigger bad behaviour in kids but by conscious right parenting choices we can control them. Communicating with kids and being a good role model for them is important.
Such a lovely post. It is so important for parents to understand this as well and know when they are promoting bad behaviour. Thanks for this post.
I so agree and relate to this post. Often in my case, my work pressures lead to ignorance. And I do realise that this is not an excuse to let the child have wrong. I am working hard to improve on certain parameters to make my children learn good behaviour and values.
Absolutely loved the detailed insights that you’ve shared here about a child’s behavior. as parents have much greater responsibility to sharp their good behavior and not ignoring any loopholes
As parents, we often fail to differentiate the importance of needs and wants in our kids. This is an important topic that you have written here.
This is an important topic to discuss. I have seen sometimes kids behave weirdly and some parents support that as well. As a parent it is sometimes difficult to make the kid understand . Your first point is great . Making the kid busy in other activities than study works actually.
I know, as parents we sometimes unintentionally promote bad behaviour in kids. So, it’s advisable that parents must observe bow they behave before criticising children for bad behaviour